The Monthly Chronic-les of Life
Chapter 4: Football Fever and Sweetest Day Drama
October 9th: Youngstown, Ohio
The sound of Thursday Night Football echoed through Paul’s apartment as he settled onto the couch, ready for the matchup between San Francisco and Seattle. The game was just about to start, and Paul had his snacks lined up, along with the familiar comfort of another Chemdog pre-roll. He had been looking forward to this all day, but there was a slight problem—Christy wasn’t exactly thrilled with how much football he had been watching lately.
Earlier in the day, he’d noticed the short responses in her texts and the telltale sighs in their phone calls. He knew she was feeling a little neglected, especially with Sweetest Day just around the corner. Christy had wanted him to come down to Florida for the weekend, but Paul had a game to coach on Friday night, and a full weekend of football planned, including the big matchups between Texas and Georgia and Alabama vs. Tennessee.
So, Paul decided to have a little fun with it. He pulled up his phone, scrolling through Tri-Healthy’s online store, and landed on something he knew would give Christy a chuckle: the SVH Delta 8 THC Vape Hybrid Cartridge: Ekto Cooler. Lisa had mentioned how much fun she thought this flavor was, and Paul couldn’t resist the opportunity to both lighten Christy’s mood and get a laugh at the same time.
He placed the order with free shipping, smirking to himself as he imagined the look on Christy’s face when it arrived. As he hit the "confirm purchase" button, he sent her a playful message:
“Babe, you’re gonna love what I got for you. A little something to help you ‘chill out’ while I watch all the football this weekend. 😉 Free shipping too—how could I resist? Trust me, Lisa would approve!”
Paul laughed to himself, imagining Lisa's voice in his head, cheering on his lighthearted attempt to smooth things over. The vape would arrive just in time for Sweetest Day, and if Paul played his cards right, Christy would be in a much better mood by then.
Paul knew he was cutting it close with the Sweetest Day trip. Christy wanted him to spend the weekend in Florida, but between coaching Friday night’s game and the upcoming college football games on Saturday, his schedule was packed. Still, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to tease her a little.
He texted Christy again, his tone light and flirty:
“Hey babe, what if I told you I’m planning on watching football all weekend? Texas vs. Georgia and Bama vs. Tennessee… I mean, how can I leave Ohio during such a weekend of epic matchups?”
The response was almost immediate, and it was short. Too short.
“Seriously, Paul?”
Paul laughed, shaking his head. He knew she wasn’t really mad—at least not yet—but the thought of missing Sweetest Day for football was probably pushing it. Little did she know, he had already made plans to surprise her with a big romantic gesture. He was going to fly down to Florida late Friday night, just after his game, and spend the entire weekend with her, football or not. But for now, he enjoyed keeping her on her toes.
Meanwhile, in Florida, Christy was fuming. She tried to hide it, but every time she thought about Paul choosing football over her, she felt a pang of frustration. Sure, she loved that he was passionate about the game, but couldn’t he make an exception for Sweetest Day?
She picked up the phone and called Lisa, needing to vent to someone who understood.
“Lisa, can you believe him?” Christy groaned as she flopped onto her couch, dramatically draping her arm over her forehead like she was auditioning for a soap opera. “He’s talking about spending the entire weekend watching football. Sweetest Day is this weekend! How does he not get it?”
On the other end, Lisa nearly spit out her drink. “Christy, girl, are we talking about the same Paul? My brother Paul? The one who once canceled a date to ‘watch film’ and by ‘film,’ I mean that time he rewatched every Cleveland Browns game from 1997 to 1999 because ‘they were the good old days’? Come on. You’re dating a guy who’d skip his own funeral if the Browns made it to the Super Bowl. Which they won’t. But you get the point.”
Christy sighed dramatically. “I mean, it’s Sweetest Day, Lisa. He’s supposed to be... sweet!”
“Sweet? Sweet? Paul?” Lisa cackled, barely able to contain herself. “This is the same Paul who once bought a bouquet of flowers for our mom, and when she thanked him, he said, ‘Well, the guy at the gas station said they were fresh this morning.’ You’re expecting that guy to plan some Nicholas Sparks-worthy romance weekend?”
Christy couldn’t help but laugh, but she still wasn’t ready to give in. “But it’s our day, Lisa! He could at least pretend football isn’t the most important thing on the planet.”
“Oh honey, Paul pretending football isn’t important is like asking a toddler to pretend sugar doesn’t exist. He can’t do it. His brain doesn’t work that way. If football was a person, I’d be sending you a very strongly worded text about him having an emotional affair right now.”
Christy groaned. “I swear, sometimes it’s like he loves football more than me.”
“Of course he does!” Lisa said, laughing again. “Paul’s ideal romantic gesture would probably be buying you a hot dog and a beer while tailgating before an Ohio State game. And he’d call that a splurge!”
“Don’t forget he’d make me wear one of those hideous foam fingers.”
“Oh, 100%! And you’d have to wave it around and yell, ‘Go Bucks!’ or whatever Neanderthal sound they make at those games.”
Christy rolled her eyes but laughed despite herself. “He’s hopeless.”
“Oh, he’s not hopeless. He’s just... football-minded. You’ve gotta understand, the man spends more time obsessing over playbooks than he does over, like, actual books. He’d rather set up a 4-3 defense than a romantic candlelit dinner. You knew what you were getting into. I mean, come on, Paul practically has a football-shaped heart.”
Christy sighed, letting the frustration drain out of her. “I guess you’re right. I mean, I don’t mind the football... I just wish he’d show me he cares about this stuff too.”
Lisa’s voice softened, but she wasn’t done making fun of her brother just yet. “Look, Paul does care. He just shows it... well, differently. Like, when he took you to that seafood place? He didn’t pick that because of the ambiance. He picked it because their clam chowder got a 4.8-star rating on some obscure Yelp review. Romance for Paul is finding a place with good parking and a killer halftime show. You’re just gonna have to train him a little. Like a pet.”
Christy burst out laughing. “Oh my god, you’re right. I’m basically dating a golden retriever with a playbook.”
“Exactly! You’ve gotta reward him with snacks when he does something sweet and not get too upset when he chases the football metaphorical squirrel.”
Christy was laughing so hard now that she had tears in her eyes. “I swear, sometimes I feel like the third wheel in this relationship. It’s me, Paul, and football... and football is the real girlfriend.”
Lisa chuckled. “Oh, 100%. And you know what? At least football doesn’t talk back, so you’ll always win that argument.”
Christy snorted, wiping her eyes. “True. At least I’ll always have the remote when he’s too busy yelling at Mahomes for another no-look pass.”
Lisa chimed in, ready for the kill. “Paul hates Mahomes because he’s jealous, plain and simple. Mahomes can look at three places at once, and Paul struggles to find his car keys when they're literally in his hand.”
“Or how about the time Paul was convinced the Browns were finally going to make it to the playoffs... and then they did. And lost. Again.”
Lisa laughed harder. “I know! It’s like the guy has permanent hope but no follow-through—kind of like when he ‘forgets’ to take out the trash until it’s spilling over. He has the focus of a laser beam... but only when it involves two things: you and that pigskin.”
Christy sighed, her frustration finally giving way to understanding. “I guess I’ll just have to accept that I’m sharing him with football. But that doesn’t mean I won’t guilt-trip him into getting me something nice for Sweetest Day.”
Lisa laughed. “Good luck, girl. Maybe if you dress up in a jersey, wave a foam finger, and tell him you’re running a ‘Hail Mary’ to your heart, he’ll get the hint.”
“Or I’ll just punt him to the couch if he forgets,” Christy said, giggling.
“Now you’re talking my language. Just don’t let him know that you know he’s planning a surprise for you. Let him sweat a little. Make him earn it.”
Christy smiled, feeling the tension release. “Oh, he’ll earn it alright. And I’m definitely going to make fun of him for that vape he got me.”
Lisa snickered. “Oh my god, the ‘Ekto Cooler’? What is he, 12? He probably bought it because it sounds like a Ghostbusters flavor.”
Christy laughed, nodding. “I swear, I love that dork. Even if football is his mistress.”
“Hey, at least you know where he’s at on Sundays. He’s not out cheating—just emotionally tied to every quarterback in the NFL.”
They both burst out laughing, the tension fully gone.
Guiding Questions:
- How will Christy react to Paul’s Sweetest Day surprise, and will it make up for the football teasing?
- How will the relationship between Paul and Christy evolve as they continue balancing love and football season?
- What will happen when Lisa finally finds out about Paul’s hilarious Delta 8 THC vape purchase for Christy, and how will that joke carry into future chapters?